by schoolcounselingbyheart | Aug 4, 2012 | abuse, classroom lessons, curriculum, personal safety
Disclosing sexual abuse is difficult on so many levels. Kids may have been threatened or bribed. They may be worried that the abuse is their fault and that they will get in trouble. They may fear that they won’t be able to live at home any more, that it will cause divorce or the breakup of a parent’s relationship, or that someone they care about will be put in jail. Confusion, shame, and fear are powerful, silencing feelings. And children may just not have the words, know what to say, or how to say it. We need to teach kids the importance of telling, but we also need to teach them how to tell. In a previous post, Using Data to Teach About Sexual Abuse Prevention, I wrote about how you can use data to (1) help kids understand that the greatest risk of sexual abuse is with people they already know, and (2) reach out to kids who may themselves be abusing other kids, and encourage them to ask for help. In subsequent posts I will talk more about how to teach kids about grooming behaviors, and share resources that you can use to develop your own sexual abuse prevention lessons or units, and materials that you can provide to school staff and parents. In response to a number of messages I received, I will also be sharing the personal safety lessons that I teach K-5. This may take me a while to pull together – currently my office consists of a wet carpet and a mountain of furniture stacked in the corner – but I will try... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 29, 2012 | abuse, classroom lessons, curriculum, personal safety
It was the middle of summer, and all I could think was, “I wish I had all my fifth graders together.” This is not usually the kind of thought I have in July, but three things had happened: Jerry Sandusky had been convicted of sexually abusing ten boys, the NCAA had announced sanctions against Penn State, and a local couple had confessed to sexual assault against a 13-year-old. I knew that many of our students would have seen and heard lots about these incidents, from the media and from adult discussion around them. If school had been in session they would have been anxious to talk about it. Local issues always hit close to home – some of them know the couple in question – and Jerry Sandusky had been a major topic of discussion in our class councils about sexual violence prevention in the spring. In the next week or so I will share some of the activities and resources that I use to teach sexual violence prevention. To start with, here’s how I introduced the use of data into lessons about sexual abuse this past year. I teach sexual abuse prevention annually as part of my personal safety units in grades K-5, but I am constantly on the look for ways to improve student understanding. It’s always a struggle to balance what kids already know as “stranger danger” (which is not a term we use at school, but one they clearly know, and usually get silly about), with the reality that most sexual abuse is perpetrated by people known to the children they abuse. I want kids... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 25, 2012 | parents, trauma
The recent shooting in Aurora, Colorado is a terrifying specter to all of us, but especially to children. I know that some of our kids must be frightened and, without school in session, may not have the opportunity to talk about their fears. I’m sure that many of them have seen lots of media coverage and may be thinking about all the times that they have been to the movies and what it will be like when they go the next time. Some of them were anxiously awaiting the new Batman movie and that excitement and anticipation may now be mixed with fear or anxiety. At times like this I wish school was in session. We would have been able to talk with the kids and provide some resources to parents. Here’s the next best thing: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has a guide for parents, Talking to Children About the Shooting. I was able to share it with our parents through my school blog and the school Facebook page, and thought you might like to do the same if you have a way of contacting your... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 20, 2012 | collegiality, technology
I am anxiously awaiting the release of eduClipper, a tool for capturing and sharing educational content – links, images, videos, documents, and uploaded files. I am an avid user of Pinterest, but am looking forward to having eduClipper at my disposal too. Here’s why: it’s school friendly and student safe clipboards can be private or public you can share your individual clips and clipboards with users and non-users alike, including students students can build and/or share their own clipboards all content is searchable It hasn’t been released for everyone yet, although a few lucky beta users got to start using it as of this week. But you can sign up for eduClipper now so that you will have it as soon as it is available! Want to learn more? Here’s a video: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ky8rpvsyO9c] I hope to use eduClipper to create clipboards containing collections of: all the resources I use for particular lessons and units, for my own reference and for sharing with School Counseling by Heart followers (I’m hoping other school counselors will do the same!) resources I’d like to use or investigate further information and resources for parents links for students to use to explore a particular topic during a lesson or group or later at home I’m also looking forward to exploring how to have students create their own clipboards. And I imagine that I will probably share individual clips from time to time. I’m sure there are many other ways I’ll find to use eduClipper. How will you use... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 18, 2012 | Books for Adults, children's literature, collegiality, technology
I am beyond excited! I’m making major headway on a project I started (and stalled on) last summer – cataloging all my school books with LibraryThing. LibraryThing is a comprehensive web-based cataloging service that allows you to enter, tag, organize, review, rate and SHARE your books and/or entire library with others. Yes, share! The whole thing, not just a book at a time. Not only am I going to be more organized at school, I’m also going to be able to connect and share resources with others, especially with other school counselors. LibraryThing is also available via mobile devices, but you do not need a smartphone to use it. Here’s how you can get started too! The Basics LibraryThing came highly recommended to me via a professor of library and information science. It pulls information about books from the Library of Congress, Amazon, and about 700 other sources around the world. It is even used by some libraries! LibraryThing enables people to connect and search each others’ libraries – so, for example you could: gather information about which books other school counselors use on topics such as bullying, friendship, curriculum, etc. co-manage a library with another counselor in your school set up a book-lending program with other school counselors in your area pass your cataloged library on to the next school counselor when you change schools or retire (and take it with you at the same time!) You can just enter your books and leave it at that, but tagging your books will allow you to categorize them according to how you think of them. For example, one person might... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 14, 2012 | group counseling, individual counseling
Did you get the idea from the title of this post that I might be talking about a game I kind of like? I have a good collection of board games and card games in my office, but my hands down favorite — and the kids’ favorite too – is Max. It is no exaggeration to say that it is the most beloved game on my shelf! You should get it! Seriously! You can get it for less than $12 (at Funagain Games, or for a little more at Amazon), which is a rarity for any game, much less a game that is so applicable to the work that we do with kids. Here’s the spiel that I give to kids before they play the first time: “Max is a cat. He’s not a bad cat, he just does what cats do — he tries to catch little animals. We have to work together to get the mouse, chipmunk, and bird to their safe places in the tree before Max catches them.” it helps kids learn basic social skills like cooperating, taking turns, passing the dice, and only touching the pieces when it’s their turn kids get immediate feedback if they are too impulsive kids have to slow down and pay attention, or Max will catch an animal players have to work together to be successful players have to consider and weigh risks it involves constant discussion about safety kids practice encouraging others, accepting differing choices, and withholding blame when others make mistakes kids practice handling their disappointment with themselves when their inattentiveness or impulsivity causes an animal’s demise... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 9, 2012 | Books for Adults, bullying, collegiality, high school, middle school
At the library the other day, I picked up a copy of The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School by Alexandra Robbins. The book gives an inside view of what it’s like to be a member of the “cafeteria fringe” — marginalized kids who are ignored and/or tormented by other students. It follows six students and (spoiler alert) a marginalized teacher at different high schools — self-identified band geek, loner, new girl, gamer, loner, nerd, and “popular” girl trying to break out of her mean girl group and image. Robbins’ premise, which she calls “quirk theory,” is that the very characteristics that can lead a kid to be rejected by her/his peers — originality, outside-the-box thinking, passion and immersion in specialized interests — are traits that are valuable in the adult world. The stories are sometimes heart-breaking reminders of the harrowing experience that high school can be, but instead of pitying these students, Robbins talks about their courage and resilience. In addition to telling the students’ stories, the book explores how the realities of adolescent development and the structure of high school combine to reinforce exclusion and social hierarchies. In discussing the high school elite, Robbins delineates “perceived popularity” — popularity as visibility, recognition, and influence (good or bad), as a very different concept (and experience) from using the word “popular” to mean well-liked. The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth is not just reportage — halfway through the year Robbins gives each of her characters an individualized challenge to change the way that others see them. The level of success that... read more
by schoolcounselingbyheart | Jul 6, 2012 | group counseling
No one is really sure what’s going on around here — is it the water? — but our school is becoming Boyland. In some grades boys account for more than two thirds of the population. In fifth grade last year we had only 13 girls, which presented some challenges, but also provided a great opportunity to do a lot of group work. Because their numbers were so small, we have been able to work on issues as they arise and do a lot of practicing of the skills we have learned about in class councils. They all participated in groups each year they have been here. The girls were good at handling conflicts and even emerging bullying situations, and we didn’t have too many times when someone felt excluded. Nevertheless, we had some friendship issues to work on, so instead of planning specific groups for them at the beginning of the year, I decided to try a drop-in group for the first six weeks. The girls loved having their “day” and the group ended up running all year. It was so successful that the need for topic-specific groups never arose! Almost all the girls attended every week, and the others came most of the time. The one who was initially most hesitant to attend (she has some social anxiety issues) became the town crier who reminded everyone that it was girls’ group day. I offered the group once a week at recess. I asked every girl, plus the fifth grade classroom, special ed, and Title I teachers (all women) to attend our first meeting, which was held during lunch.... read more
