Many people have asked if I would share the sexual abuse lessons that I teach in grades K-5, and I am most happy to oblige. Deciding how best to teach about sexual abuse prevention can be a daunting task. It is such an important topic, but so loaded – because of the content, because of the potential for concern from parents, for cultural reasons, and perhaps even because the issue of sexual abuse may hit close to home for the person who is teaching about it. But despite this, kids MUST be taught how to respond to situations in which they are being groomed for abuse or abused! Otherwise they will not know what to do! We spend a lot of time and effort teaching them how to behave in various school settings, and in a variety of situations – what to do when conflicts, bullying, or peer pressure arise, how to make good choices, and be ready learners. We teach them these skills because otherwise we cannot be sure they will know what to do. The same is true for sexual abuse prevention – we must equip our students with the skills that they need to respond to and report abuse.

It can feel overwhelming to think about how to develop lessons, and even more so to think about how to deliver them. Don’t worry! Almost everyone is nervous when they first teach about this topic. It gets easier with time and experience. When you get to the heart of it, and set aside your own anxieties, you will find that it’s no different than teaching about any other topic. The kids are highly interested and want to know what to do. All – all???!!! – you have to do is create a safe space, explain things clearly, and allow them an opportunity to practice. You’ll do a great job!

I will share the K-5 lessons in separate posts by grade level over the next couple of weeks, beginning with kindergarten. It will be helpful for you to familiarize yourself with the foundational information about how to teach sexual abuse prevention by reading the posts Teaching Kids How to Tell About Sexual Abuse and Teaching Kids to Recognize Grooming before you teach the lessons. You can link to all my posts about sexual abuse prevention lessons and resources by visiting A Collection of Sexual Abuse Prevention Resources.

For these two kindergarten lessons you will need two puppets, the book Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman, and copies of coloring pages of a boy and girl wearing bathing suits. You can find additional coloring pages (including a bathing suit picture) in the Very Important People coloring book. 

Your Body Belongs to You is a gentle and reassuring book that clearly conveys the messages that; (1) your body belongs to you and you can say who touches it and what kind of touches are okay with you, (2) some touches make us feel good and some touches make us feel uncomfortable, (3) what to do if you don’t want to be touched, (4) private parts are covered by your bathing suit and are only for you, (5) being touched in the private parts is not safe unless you need help in the bathroom or need medical help, (6) you should never keep secrets about touching private parts, and (7) how to tell. 

Lesson 1 covers the concepts of “good” and “uncomfortable” touches and teaches the children to say, “Stop! I don’t like it!” to the person touching them. This is a foundational lesson and does not directly address the touching of private parts. Activities include group discussion, role plays, and practice. Lesson 2 specifically focuses on safety related to private parts. Activities include read-aloud, practice, and a coloring activity. I use different coloring pages for boys and girls, but the ones I use are copyrighted, so I can’t share them. I’m sure you can find some free ones online. Here is one I found in a quick search. I don’t like it as well as the ones I have, but it will certainly do.

Both lessons require that each student practices a script: “Stop! I don’t like it!” and “Someone tried to touch the private parts of my body.” I have each student come stand beside me in the circle to practice and model for their classmates. In Lesson 1, they role play responding to hitting, pushing, hair-pulling, etc. In Lesson 2, I give them a scenario such as “Someone tried to touch the private parts of your body,” they choose whether to tell me or the classroom teacher, and then do so. Whichever adult the child “tells” responds with something like, “I’m sorry that happened to you. Thank you for telling me. We’re going to get help so you can be safe.” (You will find more scenarios in Teaching Kids to Tell About Sexual Abuse. I use the simpler ones with kindergartners.) There is always an eager volunteer to start us out and show that it is a fun activity, and then each student takes a turn. The truly hesitant can wait for a few others to go first, but everyone needs to practice so that they know what to do if this ever happens to them and so that their classmates can learn by watching them. I have never had any child be so uncomfortable that they refuse to participate. When I have students who I know have been abused, I talk to them ahead of time and show them the book and coloring pages. I don’t always have this information, though, and these lessons have been safe and comfortable for everyone.

After introducing the lessons, but before going any further, I always give these directions:

“We’re not going to talk about anything that really happened or almost happened to us or anything that really happened or almost happened to anyone we know. It’s important to talk to a grown-up when something unsafe happens, but we talk about that privately, only one kid at a time.”

These lessons are also appropriate to use with individuals, for review, or for older students whose developmental level makes these lessons appropriate. Whenever possible I provide make-up lessons in small groups or individually for any students who miss them in the classroom.

Kindergarten Personal Safety Lessons: Objectives, ASCA Standards, Activities, and  Materials

Objective: Students will be able to:

1. identify which areas of their body are private.
2. understand that they have the right to say who touches their body.
3. identify whether a touch is “good” or “uncomfortable.”
4. understand how to refuse uncomfortable touches.
5. understand that they should tell an adult about any uncomfortable touch.
6. understand how to tell an adult about any touch that makes them feel uncomfortable.

ASCA National Standards

Personal/Social Domain

Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. Competency A1: Acquire Self Knowledge

•      PS:A1.7: Recognize personal boundaries, rights, and privacy needs

Standard C: Students will understand safety and survival skills. Competency C1: Acquire Personal Safety Skills

•      PS:C1.3:learn about the differences between appropriate and inappropriate physical contact
•      PS:C1.4:demonstrate the ability to set boundaries, rights, and personal privacy
•      PS:C1.6: identify resource people in the school and community, and know how to seek their help

Lessons/Materials/Activities

Lesson 1: You Are in Charge of Your Body

Materials: 2 puppets

• Discuss: “Good” touches make us feel happy; “uncomfortable” touches make us feel sad, weird, or yucky.
• Ask: What kind of face does someone make when a touch makes them feel happy? (Smile or laugh – you can tell they like it.) What kind of face does someone make when a touch makes them feel uncomfortable? (Sad, weird, or yucky – you can tell they don’t like it.)
• Model: Use puppets to model “good” and “uncomfortable” touches – holding hand/gripping hand; high five/hitting; tagging/pushing; hugging/restraining; etc. After a few examples have students label modeled touches as “good” or “uncomfortable.”
• Discuss: If someone is touching you in a way you don’t like you need to say, “Stop, I don’t like it!” Use puppets to model uncomfortable touches again and have puppet on receiving end say, “Stop, I don’t like it!” and then tell you (the adult) that it happened.
• Practice: All students practice, modeling in front of group: counselor/teacher pretends to give good (high five, hand holding, pat on the back, etc.) and uncomfortable touches (hit, kick, pull hair, holding, hugging, etc.) to each student. For uncomfortable touches: Tell them first what you are going pretend to do, that it won’t be real, and that you won’t actually touch them, then show on yourself. Then ask, “Is it okay with you if we pretend this? Students practice saying, “Stop, I don’t like it!” Have students show with their facial expression whether or not they like the touch. Ask classmates how they can tell whether the touch was comfortable or uncomfortable.
  

Lesson 2: Private Parts of Body / Telling an Adult

Materials: Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman and Teri Weidner; bathing suit coloring pages Depending on the size of the class, you may need to separate this lesson into two sessions.

• Read: Your Body Belongs to You.
• Discuss: Private parts are the parts of our bodies that are covered by a bathing suit.
• Discuss: No one should touch the private parts of your body unless it’s to check quickly to help you clean up or if your private parts hurt. This would be a grown-up like a parent or a doctor or nurse. If a doctor or nurse was checking you, your mom or dad or whoever usually takes you to the doctor would be there.
• Discuss: Tell an adult you trust if anyone: touches the private parts of your body, tries to touch the private parts of your body, makes you touch the private parts of their body, tries to make you touch the private parts of their body.
• Share: Each student identifies a grown-up they would tell if someone tried to touch their private parts
• Discuss: Always tell a grown-up about touching private parts, even if the person touching: tells you not to tell, says you’ll get in trouble, says that no one will believe you, says they will hurt you.If the grown-up you tell doesn’t believe you, tell another grown-up.
• Practice: telling teacher or counselor “Somebody touched the private parts of my body.”
• Activity: Students color in bathing suits on Girl or Boy Bathing Suit paper. Tell them they are doing this activity to help them remember that bathing suits cover the private parts of their bodies. Circulate and ask students why they are coloring pictures of children in bathing suits: “Because they cover the private parts of the body.” Ask them what they should do if someone tries to touch the private parts of their body. “Tell a grown-up that I trust” – mom, dad, teacher, etc.
  

You might also be interested in:

A Collection of Sexual Abuse Prevention Resources

Coloring Book Helps Kids Learn About Sexual Abuse Prevention

Teaching Kids How to Tell About Sexual Abuse

Using Data to Teach About Sexual Abuse Prevention

“I Got Safe So Quickly”: How Kids Feel After Telling About Sexual Abuse

Teaching Kids to Recognize Grooming

I’ve Got a Secret . . .

First Grade Lessons for Sexual Abuse Prevention